THE GREATEST SPRING BREAK LIST OF PARTY SONGS

Last week, I wrote about some Spring Break song lists I found that I thought were just plain bad. With songs like "The Theme to Jaws" and "The Long and Winding Road," who can blame me.

So I figured I'd make my own list. So here it is, The Greatest Spring Break List of Songs Ever. One of the criteria for the list was that the songs can be played on any given Spring Break now and in the near future. Of course the songs on any Spring Break is going to include current hits. None of those were included. So these songs on this list can be played right along with the current stuff. Here's the list, in no particular order.

1. "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffet. I guess this song is a must on any Spring Break list. Songs about drinking are also a must.

2. "(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!)" by The Beastie Boys. I know the song was supposed to be an ironic take on party songs. But it really is a pretty good party song in its own right. It also turned out to be an irony of an irony. Or in mathematical terms, irony squared.

3. "Pretty Woman" by Van Halen. I could've included several Van Halen songs on the list, but one will do. The original by Roy Orbison is also good but there is a tinge of sadness in his version. David Lee Roth has none of that.

4. "Bad to the Bone," by George Thorogood. I know "Bad to the Bone" is somewhat of a cliche by now. But there is no denying the power of that guitar. And that stutter. B-B-B-B-Bad. As far as cliches go, it's still a good one.

5. "I Get Around," by the Beach Boys. The Beach Boys is another band that could've had several songs on the list. I picked this one because its good to know that during Spring Break, people do get around.

6. Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Even though they knock Neil Young, they make up for it with that great intro riff.

7. "Super Freak" by Rick James. Everybody knows this song. And anyone, and I mean anyone, can dance to it. As proven in the movie "Little Miss Sunshine."

8."Love Shack," by The B-52s. I wouldn't necessarily put it on for my own enjoyment. But lots of people seem to like it. Why else would it be on the list of 365 Songs of the Century?

9. "Lady Marmalade," by Labelle. Good catchy song. And now that I finally know what the French lyrics mean, it's even more appropriate for Spring Break. "Do you want to sleep with me tonight?"

10.“(Shake Shake Shake) Shake Your Booty” by KC and the Sunshine Band. Come on, who can resist not shaking their booty to this song. Well I can, but a lot of people can't. And let's face it, shaking your booty is the essence of a party.

SPRING BREAK PARTY TUNES

Spring Break is around the corner and as everyone knows, it's time to party. Connie Francis had a movie called "Where The Boys Are" in the 1960s that might've popularized Spring Break partying even more than it already was. Frankly, a movie with a title like that is something I might not be interested in seeing. But that's just me. I never did any partying during Spring Break. The closest I ever got was turning on MTV and checking out the latest dance moves at Lake Havasu. I guess you really can't call that a party.

Having said this, if I had a party during Spring Break and had to put on some tunes, which ones would I play? So I went looking for a list of the ultimate Spring Break songs. I checked out a site from the University of Wisconsin's Daily Cardinal and they had a list. The most interesting song on the list was the "Theme from 'Jaws'". Jaws? Come on University of Wisconsin, Jaws? I guess that happens when you have too much cheese. The list did have a few good songs though. "Margaritaville" by Jimmy Buffet and "Wouldn't it be Nice" by The Beach Boys.

I also found another site with a list of the Top 50 Spring Break party songs. So I figured this was it. This was exactly what I was looking for. So I check out the list and frankly, it is just about the lamest list I have ever seen. And to prove it, I will tell you one of the songs on the list. A song on the list for the Top 50 Spring Break party songs is, hold on to your breath, "The Long and Winding Road" by The Beatles. "The Long and Winding Road" is just about the most boring song ever and I love The Beatles. They are my favorite all time band. So if you want to put someone to sleep, that's the song to play. In fact, I wouldn't mind if they played "The Long and Winding Road" at my funeral. But only if I lived to be a hundred. In fact, McCartney feels the same way about the song. He was outraged at what Phil Spector did to his song. And was one of the reasons the band broke up.

The Spring Break list actually includes another Beatle song that just doesn't make any sense at a party and that is Magical Mystery Tour. I suppose if you had to play Beatle tunes at a party, I would play "Twist and Shout" and "Money." Another song that doesn't make any sense on the list is a song by Barbra Streisand called "Somewhere." I've never heard this song but I can tell you right now with complete accuracy, it is not a good song for a Spring Break party. I just can't imagine any Barbra Streisand song being any good at a Spring Break party. Amazing voice? Yes. Terrific songs? Absolutely. For all I know, Somewhere is probably a fantastic song. But Spring Break party song? Not possible.

The list is not totally bad. I mean it does have some decent songs. For example, the list includes "Born to be Wild" by Steppenwolf, "Sweet Home Alabama" by Lynyrd Skynyrd and "Here I Go Again on My Own" by Whitesnake. But all in all, it is not a very good list. In fact, there is a song there that was listed twice. This just means that I might have to create my own list of Spring Break songs for when I do have a party. I just have to figure out how to ditch my wife and five year old son.

DEAD PEOPLE'S MUSIC

As I was listening to NPR's list of most important works of the twentieth century, I came to an interesting realization. Well, interesting for me anyway. Dead people's music is better than living people's music. Not always, of course, but mostly.

I'm no fuddy duddy either (are those words still being used?). I like good music no matter who plays it and how old it is. Even if it's from the Jonas Brothers. Well, if they played good music I might like it. This is a horrible realization. And what does this mean anyway? The last album I bought was, well, a gift for my wife. The soundtrack to Summer of Sam, which for some reason she seems to like. Actually, some of the songs are pretty good. It has a good mix of living and dead people's music.

Maybe the fact that they are dead kicks their songs up a notch. Especially if they die a sudden horrible death. I'm sure artists like Tupac, Biggy Smalls and Selena were helped somewhat as a result of their tragic deaths. I had never even heard of Selena before she was shot to death.

I wonder if, when I was young, I listened to dead people's music. Let me think...all The Beatles were still alive, CCR, J Geils...Holy smokes, I mostly listened to music from people who were still alive. I must be getting old.

I listen to Kevin and Bean on KROQ here in LA and they play modern Alternative music, so I keep up to date on some of the new artists like The Killers and Linkin Park. But even KROQ plays music by dead people, such as Nirvana and Sublime.

I think I started listening to dead people's music, in earnest, when I started going to college. I would go to the library and check out old records and tapes. Sometimes I would even check out albums on Classical music. And those guys are REALLY dead. I'm sure they're dust by now. Even Jimi Hendrix must be dust by now.

The one thing that makes me still feel young is that I have a five year old son. He keeps me young. Unfortunately, he also listens mostly to dead people's music too. No thanks to me. Oh, and let's not forget the Disney channel and Noggin. He also listens to that. So I know about Laurie Berkner.

I don't really mind this realization so much because there is just so much good music out there. Even if all new music stopped coming out, for some crazy reason, there is just so much old music out there that I still need to discover that I don't really mind knowing that I mostly like dead people's music.

If I had a cover band, I would call it Dead People's Music. Nobody take it.