SOMETHING IS HAPPENING

To paraphrase a Mr. Bob Dylan, Something is happening and you DO know what it is, do you, Mr. Jones. In this case, the Mr. Jones is me. And what is happening is that my speech is improving. You see, as I've probably mentioned on another blog entry, I've stuttered for most of my life. And if you know anything about that, or if you know anyone who does, it's not a particularly easy life.

It's a constant state of stress caused by something almost everyone takes for granted. Speaking. Opening your mouth and conversing with someone. Anyone.

I have a nephew who stutters worse than I do and my five year old son started copying him. You could tell he was just mimicking him. "Daddy" was suddenly "da da da daddy." We had to tell him to knock it off and fortunately he did. Occasionally, I would find myself stuttering while conversing with my son too and I hated it. So I figured I gotta do something. Now. My wife has somehow tolerated it all these years, but even she wants me to do something.

I took years of speech therapy in high school and college. And it did help some because I used to be worse. But it's not enough. I want to be fluent. I want to say my name without the dread of contorting my face while I say it. I want to be able to say my wife's name too.

So I went online for a book and of course there are tons of them. One book that caught my attention is "Understanding & Controlling Stuttering." What it says, basically, is that some people stutter because they use the Valsalva mechanism to speak. The Valsalva mechanism is used by everyone whenever they try to lift a heavy weight and hold one's breath. It is also used whenever you push while on the toilet bowl. To put it bluntly, I've been using my butt hole muscles to talk. That is the craziest explanation I've ever heard. And it's precisely what I do. My stomach tightens when I speak and so does my sphincter. I can't get over it. This is crazy. All this time and no one has ever told me to relax my sphincter. Except, of course, for my doctor when he's checking my prostate.

So what now, you may ask. Well, all I can tell you is that I'm c-c-cured. Just kidding, they do give you some vocal exercises to do. One of them is to start every sentence with aaahh. This is because saying aaahh causes the rectal and stomach muscles to relax. This is true because I do not stutter when saying words that start with "a". Anyway, I have been doing some of these exercises and it seems to be helping already, whenever I remember to use it in speech. Stuttering is also a habit that needs to be changed. I need a new habit of speaking without using all those unnecessary muscles I've been using.

And to get to the point of this blog, this does not mean I will be doing interviews once we start doing the podcasts. Because, well, there is the issue of me hating the sound of my voice. I will remain in the background as producer.

I just thought I'd let you know a little about this and next week I'll do a blog on songs where the singer stutters. And if you know anything about stuttering, stutterers don't stutter when they sing. But that's okay, the songs are pretty good anyway.

So here's "My Generation" by The Who. Roger Daltry does a terrific job singing and stuttering. Everyone else is great too. Especially Keith Moon. He is so entertaining to watch on the drums. And watch out for debris.